A horrible end to a perfect day!

Summer is here and I am ready!

"Be prepared!" was the thunderous title of my last blog entry, which, at this point, seems like a distant memory. Indeed I have been neglecting my duty to my loyal reader to make continuous updates to this grand experiment but with good reason. I have taken all this time away to gather experience and report what I have learned as I start to venture further from home than ever before without the safe, secure feeling a car provides. I have had numerous ups and downs since my last keyboard clicking session, so without further ado, here goes nothing!

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." -Someone wiser than me

I have a tendency to worry...a lot. I try my best to be prepared and I do not make any decision hastily. Every time I leave the house in any capacity, there is a certain plan in motion. Major purchases are reviewed time and time again in and endless obsession to ensure the best possible outcome. Blame it on my family, which, on both sides has an extreme aversion to risk taking. 

As the school year wound down, the wife and I decided to pursue our two year delayed summer plans of riding all around the country. The goal was to hop on the bike, not look back, go and get lost and enjoy our summer as we prepare for major life changes. In fact the sole purpose of this blog was to support and document our journey into buying a bike, making it our own and then riding all summer long. 

We have worked tirelessly in our home and personal lives to ensure no loose ends are left untied and that we have dotted our "i's" and crossed our "t's". With memorial day fast approaching I dug into the tourism guides for fun things to do. We both had the day off, as did our riding buddy, so we decided we would leave early and make a whole day ride. 

I determined that The Hocking Hills state park would make for a nifty ride. This gigantic state park in the middle of nowhere Ohio is home to numerous nifty geological attractions. Evidently, this park is very popular no matter what time of year you visit (save for the horrid winters), a fact I wish I would have known. 

The draw of the day though, was the ride itself. I more or less planned a 330 mile round trip, encompassing around 8 hours of solid ride time. 

The day started so well!

We departed from home earlier than usual. I believe we were out of the driveway by 8 AM this time and on the road not much later. In order to ensure we could return at a reasonable time we had to keep to a more strict schedule. The road was long and winding and despite initial delays of me believing there was a freeway exit where there wasn't, we were on our way.

There were two freeways we could have taken down, but we picked the scenic route. Around every 25 miles we would run through a very, very small town. These scattered villages were the definition of what one might think when the words "one horse town" are mentioned. Being memorial day, we faced numerous delays as equipment was arranged and loading and unloading occurred everywhere. I must admit it was fun pretending that everyone was lined up on both sides of the street to greet us! For a day, we were special!

It is easy to be distracted by nature.

The roads were some of the most beautiful I had ever seen. They wound and curved through deep forests, so thick with green that I felt I was on another planet. Farms and houses sparsely dotted this lush landscape as we meandered down to the hills. 

One of the many curves in these underused roads. 

We were also greeted with plains upon plains of golden wheat and waves of green corn beginning to grow. Large and fluffy white clouds hung in the sky like cotton balls over these verdant hills and golden fields as the sun showered everything in sight.  These endless seas of greens and grasses were mesmerizing. I think we may have discovered some new Windows wallpapers. 

Coming to Windows 11!

Upon our arrival in Logan County we immediately stopped and took a break to figure out what we should do. We decided to head to the Old Man's Cave, another 12 miles from our current location. Upon arrival in the Hocking Hills area we realized that a holiday weekend might not have been the best time to visit. Tons upon tons of people had the same idea we did.

So many people!

Aside from the crowds of people we were also greeted with a loud constant humming, which we came to find out was actually cicadas. Everything was covered with these large bugs that are fortunately not a nuisance. 

Gross and everywhere but very harmless.

At the visitors area we were able to obtain prime parking simply by being motorcycles. It is nice when they have dedicated spots for bikes. For every one car we can fit 4! It is nice being small sometimes! Once parked we ran towards the concession stand and chowed down on some decent chili dogs and mozzarella sticks before descending to the cave.

Prime parking spots!

Nothing better than eating warm food in the sun!

There were people EVERYWHERE! The crowds were just crazy. Everyone was polite and nice to each other though, which reduced the overwhelming nature of the experience. What made the crowd unpleasant was the small bridges and stairways that must be used to reach the cave itself. The cave is about 10 stories down from the entry level of the park, which is around 20 stories down from the actual ground level of the Logan county entrance.

Drop it low. 

Essentially you must uses a series of steps, carved passageways and awkward bridges in order to reach the cave. The air is cool thanks to the blanket cover of the forest above but the hike will make you sweat. 

So beautiful!

 After what seemed like my own personal death march to the cave, we were greeted with small water falls and a cave so large I was taken aback. I was stunned that such a large cave, complete with fresh water delivery and protection from all the elements, sat nestled in this hidden valley, of which I had never heard of until I googled "interesting things to do in Ohio." 

Go here!

After experiencing the scenery, which must be personally experienced to be fully understood, we reascended the stairs of destiny and prepared for the departure. 

I was a bit winded from the climb!

Two options: The long way or the longer way

The ride down had been great. The scenery and roads were just awesome. We decided to skip the freeways and just use the back roads again to return home. The trip down was so good, why not double it!

All roads lead to the middle of nowhere. 

We also decided to forego stopping more than needed to facilitate a faster arrival time. That meant we would be running lower on gas and water than needed. Not a wise choice on a 90+ degree day but not the worst either. We stopped outside the hills for one more fuel up and then were on our way.

More reliable, you say?

We had covered around 70 miles of our 165 mile return home when it happened. On one winding road in Danville Ohio the bike decided to fail us. We had just come out of one turn and were headed up another when all of the sudden the throttle became unresponsive. No amount of feathering the bike would keep it going. The throttle became completely useless and the bike died. 

An unbearable heat. 

Panicked, I grabbed the clutch and jammed my thumb onto the starter in hopes to rattle the bike back to life. Surely, this was a fluke, I thought to myself. But as I sat on the smoldering hot highway in full travel gear desperately trying to make the bike fire, I realized this day was not going to end well. 

I was able to slowly but surely back the bike down the hill and into the gravel driveway of a nearby farm. If there was one fortunate aspect to the location, it was that there were people and I had a cell phone signal. Once I realized that the problem was not roadside repairable I called the insurance company who sent for a tow truck. 

Perfectly summing up the situation. 

The heat was unbearable. We took refuge in the bikes shadow as there were no trees to be seen. Two passerbys stopped to ensure our safety but ultimately continued along. We ran out of cold water and were down to one warm Coke Zero to drink. Needless to say we were starting to feel a bit woozy. Sunstroke is real and we were feeling its effects. 

Across the street was an abandoned shop whose wall was providing shade to the ground next to it. We decided to head over there and lay in the grass while we waited for a tow. Unfortunately we also found a nest of jumping spiders which let us know whose territory we were on. 

The view of the breakdown from the shaded spider nest area. 

Fortunately the tow man arrived within 35 minutes of our breakdown and agreed to take us home. A 94 mile tow. Because of our location it took around an hour to even get a freeway and then another 50 minutes to arrive home. 

We unloaded our machine and thanked the entertaining tow driver for his help. This man made us feel a lot better and I do not even remember his name. I will say he was one of the most interesting people we have ever met. 

A horrible end to a perfect day!

I would come to find out two weeks later that a fuel pressure regulator had gone bad, causing a complete drop in pressure and the inability to get fuel to the injectors. 

Although this problem may have been preventable I learned a hard lesson that day; no matter how much you prepare and plan, sometimes shit happens. 

Be prepared!

The question had never really occurred to me before; "What if we can't find a bathroom?" Usually when I need to cover distance I stick to the main state routes or interstates and when I want a more relaxing ride I use major roads that pass through country areas. We're never in the country for an extended period of time. In other words, packing lite and not preparing for emergencies had not been an issue.

But then it happened. We found ourselves in the middle of no-where. By complete accident, we had ended up damn near Pennsylvania two weeks ago on a covered bridge ride. 

The yellow dot represents the official middle of nowhere. 

Ashtabula county has numerous covered bridges, a phenomenon I found, is relatively limited to that specific part of the country. As a child I can vaguely remember my aunt taking me to these bridges, but just barely. The bridges themselves are scattered across a large swath of land encompassing around 20 some hours of ride time. 

Supposedly, the bridges are marked using road signs. Following some of these signs works on occasion, other times we became hopelessly lost in the middle of no-where. One bridge in particular is what sparked this post in the first place. 

It was quite picturesque.

We found ourselves on a small, winding access road, which, to our surprise, transformed into a long dirt road covered in gravel. Goody. This two mile stretch of road only had two Amish houses placed alongside and was completely devoid of power lines or other telecommunications.

No pavement.

We arrived at the bridge itself and parked in a small area which seemed like it was made for a car. At this point we realized that walking back to a house for help would take awhile, the phone's reception was spotty at best and that, most importantly, if we had to use the bathroom, it was game over.

Limited parking options.

Eventually we made it out of the winding back roads and home, but the experience left me inspired to do some research and better prepare myself. 

Pack Thoroughly, Pack Lightly!

When I was around 9 years old, I vaguely remember my dad preparing to go to Iowa to visit a friend. He was taking one of the Knuckleheads which contained no saddlebags and only a sissy bar. I remember looking at the bike outside with him and he said, "See this!? This is how you pack; light!" I'm not sure why I remember that so clearly, but it has stayed with me. 

No bags? No problem!

My goal is to never overload or bring superfluous gear on a trip. These items only add weight and I feel as though I would never need most of the recommended items. Really, it does not matter what you want to bring; a motorcycle sets a very strict space limit that you must obey.

What is in my bag?

I decided to hit the internet and do some reading as to what everyone thought I should take with me. After all, there are thousands of riders who take long mileage trips every year. Surely they know what the best items to pack are. Indeed, there are tons of lists out there, some of them very thorough and detailed, while others are sparse and funny. 

To make my list, I decided to pull from experience and what I needed. When I was in high school, I always carried fuses, oil, bulbs and fix a flat with me on the bike. Of course, that bike was a nightmare of Japanese design, so it was almost a requirement,

Let's put some junk in that trunk!

I gathered from people who do a lot of country and park rides, along with those in a city environment. What follows is a conglomerate of the items I found wise and useful to fill a bag with.

Medicine

Not a pharmacy, but a quick patch up to get you into town!

-Advil and Motrin

-Tums or Rolaids

-Benadryl or other allergy medicine

-SPF 30 Sunscreen

-Aloe Vera Gel

-AAA Travel Size First Aid Kit

The items were chosen to help alleviate any small problems while on the road. After being sunburned and having a stomach ache, I cannot stress the importance of these items. Everything I bought was travel size.

ZIPLOC EVERYTHING!

Mechanical

The very basics.

-Tool Pouch

-Fuses and puller

-Fix a flat or other tire inflator

-Tire pressure checker

-Air pump

-Quart of oil

-Spark Plugs

-Wires

-Paper or Plastic funnel

I tried my best to include only small fixes that would allow me to get to a rest area or a town. Nothing fancy or major here. Make sure your tool kit as the required items to remove the seat in order to allow battery access. Also make sure you have the right tools to remove a spark plug and wire if need be. You won't be able to do much on the side of a road, but you can patch it up a bit.

Some last minute additions.

Toiletries and Miscellaneous

These are the other necessities that round out this list. 

-Travel size Toilet paper

-Travel size hand wipes

-Travel size toilet wipes

-Travel size tissue

-Emergency thermal blankets (also known as silver emergency blankets)

-Duct tape

-Cell phone chargers

-Cell phone battery packs

-Cell phone battery pack chargers

-Ziploc bags

-Cloth or plastic bags

-Tie downs (bungee cords) and cargo net

-Blocks for parking bike on grass or dirt (something very durable, flat and wide)
-Insurance, Registration, Emergency $50
-Selfie Stick!!!

Chargers for all my devices!

As you can tell this is where the bulk of the packing comes in and where travel size items will help you. Remember, nothing on this list is a long term, sustainable solution to anything. They are simply precautions that may or may not help you on the road. The toiletries are there because if you gotta go, you can go. The thermal blankets serve two purposes: 1. to keep you warm in case of night time breakdowns and 2. to serve as a signaling device for other motorists. Everything has been placed in ziploc bags and I have also included some additional ziploc bags in case.

Some of the most important pieces of paper.

No matter what list I read, it seemed ziploc bags were a must. If you are using a phone or GPS system, ensure you have a reliable way to charge it. I have purchased a few battery packs that should keep my phone charged, with constant use, for a solid 24 hours straight. You never know when you might need more power. Always keep wall chargers and cables handy as well.

Cloth bags, blocks for parking on grass and important info!

Another good thing to keep in mind is a second set of gloves and a second set of safety glasses. These items are can break or get lost, so it would be nice to have a backup set in case you misplace things.

What a mess!

I managed to get all these items to fit in one bag. With some creative packing, I think you can too! Remember to keep it simple, keep it light and keep it small! Following these rules should provide you everything you need in a portable package!

It all fits!

Something was bound to happen...

Picturesque: One week earlier there was 7 inches of snow.

April has decided to make itself known to the midwest. Since my last check in, I have seen weather in the 80's and 7 inches of snow in less than 6 hours. As always, the weather remains unpredictable even when it should have stabilized. Needless to say riding has been a bit of a crapshoot.

That is not to say I have not logged a fair amount of miles. Indeed, at this point I believe I am close to hitting the 1K mark. Any ridable weather that I encounter is thoroughly taken advantage of. The spring has been full of good rides. A day long excursion to Pennsylvania, a quick visit to southern Ohio and a trek to the covered bridges have occupied the past few weekends.

Stay hydrated and well fed on long rides!

Of course, it would not be a Harley blog if I didn't make mention of the money I have spent. Really though, the money I have gone through recently was all for a good cause. We finally bought new helmets (the last one I bought was from 2001) along with riding boots for my wife and gloves for me. This important safety investment will hopefully (and God forbid) serve it's purpose. Aside from the gear, we also made investments in US Passport renewal. Canada here we come! 

Covered bridges are fun but do not expect a phone signal!

But aside from the mundane, I also bring the upsetting. Upon returning from our excursion to southern Ohio, I noticed something a bit off about the rear fender. It looked like the bumper was broken. At a certain point down south we went off road, so I figured the bumper got busted up along the way. No worry! My uncle has a spare, I'll throw that on!

For a week I didn't bother to. In fact the following weekend we took a trip to Pennsylvania, clocking in around 200 miles total. It was at that point, however, that I realized it was more than just the bumper. The whole left side of the bike was leaning...badly. Ah crap...

Always take the time to inspect after a long ride!

Upon closer inspection I found that the bracket that attaches to the fender, which also holds one side of the bumper, which also holds the mufflers, which also holds saddlebag support, which also holds the saddlebag rail support bracket, had snapped. The steel had cracked and then snapped off completely. I feel foolish for not noticing earlier. I was fortunate that it had not done more damage. Really, the only thing holding the muffler during the long run, was the bolts that keep the pipe in the cylinder head. If it had snapped, it would have been a costly 'oops'. 

Naturally, I hit up the internet to find an answer. I found out some interesting facts. This was and has been an ongoing, known issue. The steel was too weak at the bend when it was manufactured, causing numerous breaks. The obvious solution was to buy new rails..for $115 a pair. The second option was to weld the piece in place but from what I read it is A. difficult and B. usually breaks off again anyway. On EBay though I found an answer.

Someone in Pennsylvania fabricates replacement pieces that bolt into one of the holes in the bracket and replace the broken piece. This 'fix' only cost around $34, a much more reasonable expense. I ordered it immediately.

This guy.

The USPS is not known for their speedy service, but I have never had an issue with them until now. The seller shipped the item via 2 day priority mail on Wednesday. The item did not arrive until the following Monday. Three days in transit and one more for delivery, from one state away? It was a frustrating wait.

Since the weather was supposed to be close to 70 Sunday, I planned a ride. I decided that using bungee cords to attach the broken bracket to the luggage rack was a good idea. It really was not. Using the 'redneck' fix method, I managed to scuff the back of the left saddlebag. Luckily most of the markings were rubbed out...but still. If anything I have learned that I must absolutely be patient or risk further damage and downtime.

Just wait. Don't do this. It was very stupid. 

The actual fix was relatively painless to apply but as usual your situation will vary.

Be Patient, Wait for the Parts and Take your Time!

I arrived home yesterday in a 80+ degree heatwave to be greeted by a small package sticking out of the mailbox. Immediately I opened the box to find the two brackets along with a set of nuts and bolts. I opened the garage and began working.

I began by removing the saddlebags themselves. The quick release pins on the interior of the bags make this a swift process. I placed the bag far from my work area to avoid further damage.

The cords serve as temporary support.

I left the bungee cords in place while I began to remove the hardware. The thought was that it would remove pressure from the exhaust pipe, which was holding on via the header bracket. Although it worked while I removed the first bolt, I found that after that bolt was out, I needed to find a better solution.

Removing the first bolt using the Torx head driver. 

I used a hydraulic jack that I keep in the garage to support the muffler bracket. Using this jack allowed me to reach the required height to safely support the muffler without damaging the header. Once I had the muffler on the jack, I removed the bungee cords and the passenger backrest and luggage rack.

The jack provided much needed support while I removed the remaining bolt. 

Each of the stock bolts uses a Torx T-40 head. I used the required bit plus a 1/2 inch ratcheting wrench to remove both stock bolts from the brackets. Although Torx provides the torque required for a vibrating surface, I have had bad luck with the bits. I was worried about breaking a Torx bit and needing to buy a new one. Luckily I removed both without any problems.

The broken piece and the removed pole bracket. 

Once the second bolt was out the pole light ring and the broken section of bracket fell out. I decided to remove the pole light support ring completely as I have no intention of putting the police lights back on. I did keep the metal bracket piece in case I can have it welded.

Removing the bolt from the fender.

The next step was to remove the Torx bolt from the rear fender bracket itself. The bolt threads into a welded nut in the fender, so there was no need to hold the nut with a wrench. The bolt loosened easily and fell onto the floor. To my surprise, the rear saddlebag rail lifted up, out of place. Indeed, I discovered that these rails are under a fair amount of pressure.

The rail sat in this raised position until I replaced the bolt in the new bracket. The rails are under pressure.

Once I cleared the area I prepared the new part for installation. I found the correct bracket and angle for installation and then sought out the thread locker. I decided to use the bolts the seller included, along with the stock nuts.

The new part ready to go in!

The section of the fender that the replacement bolts against has some play in it. That is, there is some adjustment provided by the maker. I used the other side as a guide to ensure I placed the bracket at the right height on the adjuster. I then double checked by having my wife confirm the symmetry of the rear. This small detail can drive you crazy!

Always use Loctite. 

Once the bracket was in place, I bent down the saddlebag support rail (which was quite difficult), applied a generous amount of thread locker to the bolt and threaded it in. Threading the bolt by hand first will assure you don't make a mistake and crossthread the hole, which in turn could cause additional problems.

Bracket attached to fender and almost done!

From that point all I did was simply line up the bracket with the fender bracket and exhaust hanger bracket and feed the bolts through. Once they were through I covered the bolts and nuts in a thread locker. Any place where vibrations occur should also be locked for safety.

The finished product. 

And that's it! The bracket worked well and is barely noticeable, especially once the bags are put back on. Although not difficult, the job took around 40 minutes from start to ignition. If you're Harley touring bike has this trouble, this solution is a rare concept; sturdy and cheap!

My ignorance allows for your bliss

Only in the world of motorcycles does one constantly need to be on the defensive. Harley people have garnered a reputation over the years of being snobs. I suppose I never really met any Harley people over the years except my immediate family, so I was not aware the problem even existed!

For some reason, if you ride a motorcycle, you are expected to know every single bearing in each race in the motor. If you have not memorized the torque pattern for the allen bolts on the primary case you are stupid. What strikes me as odd, is that no one expects the same level of commitment from car owners. I suppose that is a consequence of cars being a daily necessity, but still. Most car owners would not know where their oil dipsticks were.

And yet when I realized I didn't know where my bike's drain plug was, I felt stupid.

In other hobbies I have, the idea of two groups has always existed. There are those who are super dedicated, build their own PCs, maintain everything themselves and find cost effective (i.e. bootlegging) ways to own games. They would never take it to a shop nor would they buy a premade computer. That would be silly and is only something stupid people would do.

It's not difficult to spot this same idea over and over again within many subcultures. Something that people often forget is that the larger audience is what allows them to enjoy their hobby. Because a company like Intel makes chips for large, bulk orders that will be sold to a variety of consumers; the hobbyist is able to take advantage of the individual processor sales. Because Asus makes the bulk of its money selling to manufacturers for distribution they can afford to have a niche market that caters to hobbyists who want a top of the line gaming experience.

Often, the hobbyist tends to forget that without the masses also enjoying the product, that the manufacturers might not exist. If a hobbyist only needs the services of a company once every 5 years but the average consumer needs the services every year, who is keeping that company in business? Who is helping them recoup R&D costs? Who is paying their employees?

This whole concept usually revolves around men wanting to feel special in some way. I've seen it time and time again. I suppose it boils down in some ways to insecurity. People want to feel like they have something special and that their skills are unique only to them.

To be sure, the idea of being a special snowflake is not limited to kids on the internet. Many grown men feel they need to be that way. The electric start motorcycle has been around with Harley since 1965. 1965! Yet if you ask someone who rides a kickstarted motorcycle, they will tell you how bad it is and that what they have is unique. Further they will tell you that real bikes are kickstarted and electric is some new idea that is for the casual motorcyclist. What kind of insanity is that? The first hydraulic front end in a Harley was in 1949. Yet, most people who prefer springer front ends on the old bikes will tell you that springs were the best and this hydraulic stuff is for the casuals. They choose to act as if advancements were never made, and technology does not exist. Strangely, these same people seem to prefer modern medicine, grocery stores, phones in their pockets and so on. Technologies of necessity do not make them feel special and therefore do not matter as much.

Wasn't it Henry Ford who said 'If I would have asked my customer what they wanted, they would have said, "a faster horse"'. I'm paraphrasing of course, but the point is clear.

Most of these people weren't even born at the time, yet they discuss these ideas like they are the end all and THEY ALONE are the keepers of the finest technology and skills. They speak from a place of false nostalgia, which can be very dangerous.

What they do not realize is that if there was not a casual audience, if there was not a set of people who disagreed, if there was not a set of people that did not insist that year "X" was the best year ever and the technology should not have changed, then there would be no hardcore market.

For the hobbyist and aftermarket platform to exist at all, the brand must be strong. Companies cannot take on the costs and risks of catering to a demographic who insists that nothing is broken when it sits in pieces. Without its audience, Harley would not have survived at all. If all that everyone bought was one Harley bike every 30 years, they would cease to exist.

I cannot figure out, for the life of me, why these demographics insist on being special. I suppose everyone wants something unique. Everyone wants to feel different. Possibly because I realize I am not unique nor different helps me to sit back and look at the big picture.

Frankly, this whole rant does come from a place of insecurity as well. It would be misleading for me to say that I don't want more knowledge about mechanics. For all I know (which is, surprisingly, a lot), I don't know. I do not possess the confidence to work on my own bike, by myself. I could take it apart and name everything that comes off of it, but I am not confident to put it together again.

If you're still reading, you probably have some questions. "Why is he complaining about this? Who cares? Why are you so upset? Why this rant?". Well, I can try and explain.

As of now, the bike has some issues. None are major but are issues nonetheless. The front cylinder head has a small oil leak around the gasket, the primary case has a small oil leak on the gasket and the front brakes are about done.

I can handle the brakes, I can handle the primary gasket...but I am apprehensive about changing the head gasket myself. There are many things to remove and many steps to account for in the process and I am terrified of making a mistake. Of course, when I mentioned I was going to take the head gasket job to the dealer for service I was met with criticism. "Why bring it there!? You should work on your bike yourself! I wouldn't need to do that! You're not a real rider unless you do all your own work! Just another casual motorcyclist who doesn't want to get his hands dirty!".

But my ignorance and confidence deficit will allow me to pay that dealer for work, who can in turn keep existing to service the needs of riders, which will also pay a good salary to a mechanic. In the long run, people like me who will need to use the dealership will ensure the most extreme hobbyists the security of numerous aftermarket as well as factory parts and modifications. They will ensure the brand stays around in general because really, if no one knows what a Harley is, then you aren't the special snowflake you thought you were. Without recognition, you're just some guy with some bike.

I'm done? I'm done! I'm not done.

The passing of Easter marked the last real riding day. The temperature that day reached into the mid 70's, something we have not experienced since. Even when it has risen above 40 degrees, we have been treated to nothing but endless rain and storms. To mark the first few days of April, the weather patterns have seen fit to dump 2 inches of snow on us. Needless to say the bike has not moved from the garage for awhile. With another 2 inches predicted tonight, it is highly unlikely that next week will provide any opportunity for a ride.

This is where the motorcycles sleep. 

We recently replaced the garage door on our house and installed an automatic opener. Because of the ease of use, we have been using the garage as our main point of entry and egress. Unfortunately, that means we are greeted in the morning and evening by both bikes, sitting motionless, in the cold garage. With all this time to stare at the bike, I usually begin to look to accessorize and change out items on the bike that really don't need it.

I believe that I am in the literal 'bells and whistles' phase of the bike perfection process. A bit frightening to be sure, as usually this is followed by the 'let's sell it and start again' phase. Although I have no intention of selling, I do constantly look for ways to spend money like a fool.

You can buy literal bells for your bike. Keep those gremlins away!

I have been browsing the depths of the harley touring accessories on EBay for while now. Among the items I thought about buying were engine guard chaps, saddlebag liners and a 4-point docking system. Do I need any of this? No. But not being able to ride fills me with anticipation which causes the mind to do some strange things. 

For the most part I have strayed away or at least closed the webpage before committing any funds to the product but I have bitten some bullets for better or worse. Here are the top useless things I have added to the bike in a desperate attempt the bring it to completion and satisfy my obsession,

I didn't buy them...yet.

I have rated these items in my own way along with some experiences I had. 

Axle Nut Caps     $15 from China    Surprise of the Quality 9/10

Most bikes I have seen have some form of cap on the nuts that hold the front axle in place. There are a huge range of designs but as usual, simple and clean is my preference. After looking at all the options I decided that this part could be cheap. Harley sells some attractive options, but they clock in at anywhere from $30 to $50. I could not justify that much for a cosmetic item.

Cleaning up that exposed nut. 

I turned to everyone's favorite bootleg seller, EBay and was quickly flooded with cheap options. I took the chance and ordered a set of black caps from a seller in China (as most are) for $15. After waiting for about 2 weeks to arrive, I was shocked at how good they feel. The steel they use is thick and heavy and the set screws went into place with ease. They added a bit of class to the forks without breaking the bank. 10/10 would buy again. 

The "Harley" logo, as imagined by a company in Hong Kong.

French Ring/Light Visor    $~70     Makes the headlight look less stupid 10/10

Yeah, it stuck out a bit.

This was actually a long endured struggle. When we first decided to change out the whole light system for LEDs we had assumed that everything would fit and line up in the old places perfectly. For the most part, that was accurate save for the headlight. Although the headlight fit perfectly in the nacelle it was definitely longer. Like, really long. It stuck out beyond the stock beauty ring to the point where it just looked bad.

My uncle realized it and decided to buy a ring with a visor that would cover up this protrusion. The issue was that he bought the wrong size ring in the wrong finish. We attempted, for 2 weeks, to fix this problem and make it work. Alas, our efforts were for naught, we had to stop.

Money might not buy happiness, but it does buy good looks. 

The style was correct, we just needed the right type. I hit EBay and found a dealer take-off, gloss black powdercoated ring that would be perfect. I spent the absurd amount of money, performed the easiest installation ever and then admired the beauty. It was worth it, although now the passing lamps look like they could use the hoods as well. 

Chrome License Plate screws with Black "Crystal"   $10     Fanciness 7/10

Sometimes the most subtle changes have the largest impact on the way a bike looks. From behind, the bike was already looking great, except the license plate. 

I didn't mind the plate itself, but rather the hardware. When the bike was delivered, the creepy asshole who sold it to me, decided to remove the old plate. No problem....except he felt it necessary to also take the screws holding the plate. Luckily my uncle came through as always with fresh hardware, but it was one of many small incidents that made me really regret giving that man my money. 

They blend perfectly with the look. 

The two screws my uncle gave me were brass in color, completely clashing with everything on the back of the bike. I hit EBay hard and found tons of decorative screws. I settled with the chrome and black to add to the look of the bike. All in all I am very happy with the look. 

Totally real, not at all fake, authentic crystals. 

EKLIPES Charging System $ Free because of Refund. 10/10 Worst Purchase Ever

I'm a bit of a technology nut. Every room in the house must have a screen and I require massive amounts of power outlets. It is my goal to make sure no matter where you are, you will have a screen and a charging port. I brought the same idea to the bike, wanting to make sure I could power my phone and IPod. I found this charger on Amazon, which appeared to do what I needed it to. Foolishly, I added it to cart without checking reviews.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Installation was somewhat painful, I had to cut and splice wires to fit it through the tank's small opening for wires. Installing the unit was interesting. It felt cheap and not very secure. I figured it would work like normal though, despite the feeling I wasted my money on some cheap piece of crap.

Nope. Nope. Please do not buy this. 

As soon as I turned it on there were problems. My speakers were getting major interference. Any cable that I used was not charging properly. The antenna on the IPod would not get a signal or would lose it quickly. I came to realize that the unit itself had no shielding. I then started to read reviews. Most of them discussed how it would melt or destroy whatever they plugged in. For me, it was too late. I quickly realized the charger destroyed my IPod. Luckily it did not get my phone or I would have been terribly angry. Amazon refunded my money, but I ate the IPod cost. Buyer beware. Please do not give this company any money. Spend the $70 on a reputable charger instead. I wish I did. 

There's always more!

Rest assured, I will find more things to put on the bike eventually. After the horrible experience with the charger, I think I need a break from accessories. I am still in the hole with the IPod being fried. The solution to the charger dilemma, at least that I found, was to buy a portable power source. I bought a huge power bank from a company called Kmashi that should be able to charge my phone around 5 times with ease. I have been testing it for a week now and will most likely review it when I have a moment. 

I also tested out a camera I received with a video game I bought last year. This 'gopro junior' as it seems, can handle some very nice video quality. I made a test video, strapping the camera to the crash bar and using both YouTube and the bundled software. Feel free to check it out. Once this weather clears I intend to do much more. 

At this point, I just hope to see a day in the 70's again. 

The sun glistens off the pipes. The sun is something we have not seen in 2 weeks. 

Poorly made and edited video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIoSymoy1eg